I walked the alley of the dragonflies, naive to the stories they would narrate for long. They would accompany me along my naivety, or were they teasing?; and they would show me the way when I wander, or pretend they would, so as to exercise their wings! … how mischievous they’ve been while teasing my intimate, idealistic sentiments of passion and substance. Their buzz would frustrate me at times when I refused the harmless discomfort spikes due to the strong realisations. While I asserted my individualism; we simultaneously enjoyed one another’s company meanwhile as we matured. We were moved by one another as we understood the depthness of our interweaving journey for a long time. I learnt: stories are the untold; the incomplete; and the unfulfilled as well … and we’ve to keep going come what may, being perhaps the very first one to stay with oneself amidst it all. And the healing, it roots from within as well … giving the required time to the healer one is. Live, love you enough; empathise; and release what needs to; and resiliently continue with optimism even if it is one percent at first … Live insightfully. Live enlighteningly. Live. Live. The libellule says …
perhaps you were one who chose to water it rather than plucking it, maybe that is why your annoyance of the plucked petals on our way, then. how these words fooled many still. and yet it gave way to one another’s destinies and paths. when i see it with anew perspectives, i grow fond of the quirks, irks and perks of who we once were; and who we may become for ourselves, for those we will be with, and who will be there with us as well. perhaps you were him too and yet not. it no more feels heavy. it feels empathising to know you anew and afar. and it is enlightening to comprehend the different paths with refreshing insights; and with grounded joy and gratitude. today is our different today, disparately. and here we continue on one’s own with nurturing grit, resilience and with perceptive, assertive mien.
our camaraderie is perhaps …
the evening hues and the starry lights afar;
within the distance, the dawns and dews;
like a gentle wind, flurrying one’s heart;
companions under dusk, we become;
where solitude fills with fullness;
preserving us, our youth with the passing winter and summer;
and we remember our hearts and grit;
the youthful vigor accompanies one;
at times buried within, only to be reincarnated with the scent;
it reminds that the scent of daffodils renews after each bloom;
and such is our friendship …
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Covid with her crown is finally within our nation-state as well. It is now midnight here. Will the tunnel lighten up soon? It’s been some minutes since the commander in chief opened up with the population. It’s been days we’ve been morally preparing. We jokingly joked – the crown will make her way in paradise. Now that she is here … are we going to be spared … we are fearing. We knew it was going to be just a matter of time until her morose and aggressive steps absorb our attention and reflect our hostilities. Meanwhile, as a population, we have been learning from others … learning of kindness and unkindness … of our strengths and vulnerabilities … of our skills and preparedness … of our instincts and biases … of our expectations and realities … of our hopes and despair. We were concerned, we remain concerned. In living the beginning of this reality, we are continuing the usuals of our homes howbeit, more conscious for oneself and l’autrui. We are worried about one another’s families as if they are our own. Covid shuts down our globalised ways, however, our globalised hearts make all the difference. We have been witnessing the struggles and the recoveries. We have been fearing for the worst; and happy for the healings. Many have been angered too, only to realize that it is in understanding and cooperating that we are to combat the obsession of the Covid with her crown and her power. Today, the instincts revealed the invisible advances of the Covid similar to the gusts of wind in swaying the rustling nests in twigs. Will our vulnerabilities jeopardize our existence here, remains to be known. We saw it today … that which rumored till now, is now our reality. Our hearts pumped hard to our throats as we gathered to grasp the words of the communicator, which felt like swords. It’s been days, and it will be more days, it seems. The end of it, is going to come as all phases are. When the end of it will be, we do not know. More than anything, the oneness remains despite shutting borders. Glory to the net here! Funny but true! In itself, Covid is a situation of the entire human race and life, bringing us closer than our globalised ways usually do, in its mysterious ways. Much is changing and is going to change as experts reiterate. As the human race, we are to pave courageously and learn from it as we’ve been doing for eons as for all our challenges. Stay safe and take good care, everyone.
There are some changes which will not take much time to experience, it will take only a few seconds to feel it and being it …. he conveyed.
I see it now.
one fell on her cheek,
which l’autrui would perceive as
a droplet of her tear,
only when the precipitation intensified
under the backdrop of the clouded half moon
did they know the fount of the little droplet and
the rift out of her conflicting emotions,
their obliviousness hence awaken,
nevertheless their care towards her,
appreciated and reciprocated.
Evenings are soothing here. My heart flutters with the warmth of dusk. Chirpings of birds in nearby twigs tickle the hearing, prior to their and my rest. I embrace the presence of the open sky, feeling weird. Somehow, the dimming sky comforts my gloom.
” …… i did that
… begging to be loved
i told him something was wrong
then I asked myself
should one beg for love
it was mad and mad and mad!
i became one I was not
he did not look back once
as if i did not exist …….!
i’m glad it did
for … no begging for love! “
Featured Photo Courtesy: Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
trying to find the rhythm
finding the rhythm and living it …
what is it … I wonder,
pressing on to the grey matter
is of no use …
when it does not
with the beats
how am i going
for the flow
and for the spaces,
my soul rages
for the truth now,
it’s time …,
what is my tempo,
is there something
i am missing,
ire is concerned,
no, i’m not sad,
for what’s near but far,
i do not hear you,
i’ve to find you.
Featured Image Courtesy: Photo by Mario Azzi on Unsplash
17 October. Today, it’s his birthday. Also the day, she wrote the break-up message to him.
On her way to class, 07:50 in the morning, the national radio FM played.
Among the local news and programmes, there was the birthday segment, where people would surprise their loved ones with birthday wishes on the phone.
She could hear a lady who phoned and thought that the lady had a sweet voice. The lady phoned to surprise-wish her fiancé a happy birthday.
The conversation on the radio followed, and time slowed as she listened intently to the lady and her fiancé on the radio. The name of the birthday person revealed a near past.
It matched the name of her ex-lover. Today, it’s his birthday too. The similar profile felt heart-wrenching somehow. His voice was the same as the one she had known. She intuitively felt it was the person she once wanted to marry.
He’d moved on after their separation.
Memories flashed back. As various emotions erupted simultaneously, she froze. She recalled when she called to meet for the last time, he did not come.
It is weird how her full closure happened today. The fiancée of her ex played a crucial role in today’s closure. Her wrath towards her past remains. Weirdly, she could feel thankful to the fiancée who indirectly helped her closed her past, gone relationship.
The voice she longed to talk to, … his voice … was silenced for a very long time and today she heard him after all this passing time.
After much hullabaloo of the spirits, the chaos ceased. As the legendary conclusion goes.. they were not meant to be.
She had clung to a shadowy hope that they could meet to unite one day. Her rosy hopes experienced closure today.
She once refused to accept that her ex was her ex. I can call her a fool although I do understand where she put herself, and why. Nevertheless, he was long gone. He has the right to do what’s right for him after all.
The break-up message she sent, was the outcome of many many days of an unhealthy relationship they had had. All could see that it was the right decision at that time and in that situation except for her blinded emotions. She still chose to let go on the spur of the moment out of suffering. She now realizes it was right to let go. Abracadabra, the fool got wise.
He had to continue.
She had to continue too. She had to heal, crawl, and overcome this phase of her life, finding her way again.
She grew stronger in her own walk while taking responsibility for what could have wronged her past relationship. She took responsibility for her imperfections while embracing them as well.
It is absurd how the ‘hasard’ works, her Auntie reflected.
It is absurd how uncontrolled situations are revealed and the impacts it has on one. It could be that she remained unaware of his changed present. It would not have mattered, after all the past is passed. However, she happened to listen to that frequency of the radio, at that particular time and instant, when the fiancée of her ex spoke. What a funny and absurd day it was, she thought. Just like the script of a drama. Absurd it was …
Featured Image Courtesy: Photo by Wade Lambert on Unsplash